Up-to-date word list (in order of appearance and pronunciation is a bit rough at the moment): boo Cheese Teeth Juice Shoes dow (Down) boon (Spoon) moo (which rapidly turned to moose) Please
Babies need to come with "troubleshooting instructions"
and an extensive manual.
Or they could all come manufactured with a hidden display
panel in the side with an array of coloured lights that are all labelled
to give exact diagnostics for the new parent.
Since he first did, we have worn ourselves out completely,
trying to get him to giggle again and again.
It is truly amazing what stupid things a parent will
do to try to make their child laugh, if only we all put as much effort
into making each other laugh and smile!
How it all happened... I know that there are a lot of
people who like to dwell on all the gory stuff. This bit is for
them, you know who you are. I make no apologies for any words that
you might not like or descriptions that may seem distasteful. That's
the disclaimer, lets get to to the detail.
We arrived at Trafford General Hospital at about 08:30
on Wednesday 10 March after what was a rather bizarre journey. As
Kate pulled out of the bottom of Ayres Road (I was eating my breakfast
so Kate was driving) She totally didn’t see someone driving up (too
fast) in a corsa. The person (and if you ever read this, then we
think you are a complete idiot and need to a: get a life b:
get out of ours c: calm down a LOT) proceeded to come very
close to our bumper, hoot the horn and then attempt to use their car as
a weapon to force us into oncoming traffic. I told Kate to stop
to let them pass but... they stopped too (nonce) and proceeded to spout
verbal abuse and then attack out window with their fist (must have hurt
them more than it hurt our window!) until we drove off again and turned
a different direction (Weird).
Anyway, At 08:40, a very nice female Doctor did a vaginal
(I did warn you) examination and then as the cervix was not dilated or
forward, administered a "pessary" which (I believe) is a mixture
of two hormones - prostin and oxytocin, in a gel that is put onto the
cervix. Kate was then left on a monitor for about 60 to 75 minutes,
while the contractions started (yes, immediately, with growing intensity).
We were watching them and saying "oooh, that one got up to 50 on
the scale", when the midwife said, "it won't be long before
they are going over 100 and you won't be interested in the monitor then!"
The monitor was removed and Kate got off the bed and
got mobile again, and as the pain started to grow, we eventually cracked
open the TENS machine. This served as a distraction for a while
and Kate kept it on until she went to have a bath at about 14:00.
By this stage the pain was getting quite bad and I was
spending some time rubbing Kates lower abdomen and some time rubbing her
back, whilst talking Kate through the contractions by viewing the monitor
(back on again just before the Doctor’s second examination).
At this stage, the midwives from the deilvery suite came across to ’bagsy’
us because they "liked the look of us". Kate was asking
for some extra pain relief by now as contractions were coming on quite
strong, very little gap between them and getting worse each time.
The second examination was performed at about 15:30
and another very friendly female Doctor pronounced the Kate was between
4 and 5 centimetres dilated. So, we packed our bags up and immediately
got whisked over to the delivery suite, Kate in a chair and Alex on foot.
As we were going in, Dave from our antenatal group was coming out to phone
all the relatives etc to say that Karina had given birth to a baby boy.
During the move from the ward to the delivery suite,
Kate’s contractions subsided for quite a while and she must have
been going into ’transition’. When we got through the
door of the delivery suite, it was as if a switch had been turned and
the contractions and pain suddenly came back ten times worse. So,
Kate was asked to get on to the bed for a minute or two while they put
the monitor back on and checked things, the ’Gas & Air’
was fired up and Kate had a puff or two. Thinking that it was all
going to go on for a very long time, Kate started to ask for someting
stronger and said she didn’t like the ’Gas & Air’
because she didn’t like the feeling. The midwife said that
pethidene was worse for making you feel sick and so Kate started begging
for an Epidural!
The midwives spent a while talking Kate out of this
idea and I suggested Kate try kneeling over the back of the bed before
we tried anything different. After another couple of contractions,
the pain controlled with the ENTONOX (’Gas & Air’) to
a certain extent, Kate vomited, filling 4 of those little paper maché
top-hats. This she later proclaimed as one of her hilights as it
was a huge relief and took her mind off the pain. Kate immediately
said she needed the toilet and whilst haveing another couple of contractions
with no pain relief at all, Kate was really pleading for an epidural,
when she said "I felt like I needed to push". The midwives
decided this was a good sign and said they should check to see how things
were progressing. Kate was 8cm at this point and therefore almost
there, which gave her the incentive to manage the rest without anything
extra. The midwives put the pethidene they had drawn away and KAte
concentrated on ’not pushing’.
Kate was ’not pushing’ for maybe about 45
mins, about half way, through, they ’broke her waters’ and
then they said it’s time to push. Kate pushed like mad for
20 minutes or so and at 18:08 Jacob popped out into the world. He
was delivered onto Kate’s stomach, a wriggling, squarking bloody
little bundle. After the cord was cut, he was given to me, so it
was shirt off time for new Dad as babies love skin to skin contact.
I spent a nice long time with Jacob while Kate was being stitched up etc
and then the midwives left us together with Jacob for a while. Kate
had a bath (and we were surprised at the amount of blood still dripping
even after being "cleaned up") and then we were escorted back
to the ward where Jacob was fed and the grandparents rung.
I was kicked out at about 21:00 and went to tell my
tale to our good friends C&J.
